Sports Archive

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Finger-Wagging Olympics

A great piece from Kareem; he pulls no punches.

kareem in airplane

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Welcome to the Finger-Wagging Olympics

Moral outrage is exhausting. And dangerous. The whole country has gotten a severe case of carpal tunnel syndrome from the newest popular sport of Extreme Finger Wagging. Not to mention the neck strain from Olympic tryouts for Morally Superior Head Shaking. All over the latest in a long line of rich white celebrities to come out of the racist closet. (Was it only a couple days ago that Cliven Bundy said blacks would be better off picking cotton as slaves? And only last June Paula Deen admitted using the “N” word?)

Yes, I’m angry, too, but not just about the sins of Donald Sterling. I’ve got a list. But let’s start with Sterling. I used to work for him, back in 2000 when I coached for the Clippers for three months. He was congenial, even inviting me to his daughter’s wedding. Nothing happened or was said to indicate he suffered from IPMS (Irritable Plantation Master Syndrome). Since then, a lot has been revealed about Sterling’s business practices:

  • 2006: U.S. Dept. of Justice sued Sterling for housing discrimination. Allegedly, he said, “Black tenants smell and attract vermin.”
  • 2009: He reportedly paid $2.73 million in a Justice Dept. suit alleging he discriminated against blacks, Hispanics, and families with children in his rentals. (He also had to pay an additional nearly $5 million in attorneys fees and costs due to his counsel’s “sometimes outrageous conduct.”)
  • 2009: Clippers executive (and one of the greatest NBA players in history) sued for employment discrimination based on age and race.

And now the poor guy’s girlfriend (undoubtedly ex-girlfriend now) is on tape cajoling him into revealing his racism. Man, what a winding road she led him down to get all of that out. She was like a sexy nanny playing “pin the fried chicken on the Sambo.” She blindfolded him and spun him around until he was just blathering all sorts of incoherent racist sound bites that had the news media peeing themselves with glee.

They caught big game on a slow news day, so they put his head on a pike, dubbed him Lord of the Flies, and danced around him whooping.

I don’t blame them. I’m doing some whooping right now. Racists deserve to be paraded around the modern town square of the television screen so that the rest of us who believe in the American ideals of equality can be reminded that racism is still a disease that we haven’t yet licked.

What bothers me about this whole Donald Sterling affair isn’t just his racism. I’m bothered that everyone acts as if it’s a huge surprise. Now there’s all this dramatic and very public rending of clothing about whether they should keep their expensive Clippers season tickets. Really? All this other stuff I listed above has been going on for years and this ridiculous conversation with his girlfriend is what puts you over the edge? That’s the smoking gun?

He was discriminating against black and Hispanic families for years, preventing them from getting housing. It was public record. We did nothing. Suddenly he says he doesn’t want his girlfriend posing with Magic Johnson on Instagram and we bring out the torches and rope. Shouldn’t we have all called for his resignation back then?

Shouldn’t we be equally angered by the fact that his private, intimate conversation was taped and then leaked to the media? Didn’t we just call to task the NSA for intruding into American citizen’s privacy in such an un-American way? Although the impact is similar to Mitt Romney’s comments that were secretly taped, the difference is that Romney was giving a public speech. The making and release of this tape is so sleazy that just listening to it makes me feel like an accomplice to the crime. We didn’t steal the cake but we’re all gorging ourselves on it.

Make no mistake: Donald Sterling is the villain of this story. But he’s just a handmaiden to the bigger evil. In our quest for social justice, we shouldn’t lose sight that racism is the true enemy. He’s just another jerk with more money than brains.

So, if we’re all going to be outraged, let’s be outraged that we weren’t more outraged when his racism was first evident. Let’s be outraged that private conversations between people in an intimate relationship are recorded and publicly played. Let’s be outraged that whoever did the betraying will probably get a book deal, a sitcom, trade recipes with Hoda and Kathie Lee, and soon appear on Celebrity Apprentice and Dancing with the Stars.

The big question is “What should be done next?” I hope Sterling loses his franchise. I hope whoever made this illegal tape is sent to prison. I hope the Clippers continue to be unconditionally supported by their fans. I hope the Clippers realize that the ramblings of an 80-year-old man jealous of his young girlfriend don’t define who they are as individual players or as a team. They aren’t playing for Sterling—they’re playing for themselves, for the fans, for showing the world that neither basketball, nor our American ideals, are defined by a few pathetic men or women.

Let’s use this tawdry incident to remind ourselves of the old saying: “Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom.” Instead of being content to punish Sterling and go back to sleep, we need to be inspired to vigilantly seek out, expose, and eliminate racism at its first signs.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a six-time National Basketball Association champion and league Most Valuable Player. Follow him on Twitter (@KAJ33) and Facebook (facebook.com/KAJ).

Original HERE.

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You Will Be Missed

My buddy Locke let me know that the man known as The Ultimate Warrior from the WWF/WWE passed away last night.  He had just been inducted into the WWE HOF this past weekend.

In my youth, many great hours were spent with my friends watching, discussing and debating the world of pro-wrestling.  Looking back to the wrestlers i grew up with, it seems almost every WWF/WWE Superstar has their demons, and their time always seem to come earlier than the average person; but at least Warrior had his moments where he could say he was the greatest.

Ultimate Warrior, you will be missed and I hope you have found peace.

A well done summary can be found HERE on Fox Sports.

 

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The Washington Silly-Nannies

Fred hits this one out of the park; the sad part is that there is some truth to the jokes he is making.  (sigh…)

southpark football

the london sillynannies

So as not to offend anyone, ever; the benchmark will be the London Silly Nannies.

Mudgeon at the Bat

Righteousness Most Compelled

By

October 15, 2013

The curious affair of Fred Mudgeon began in 2015 when he, age 67 and largely blind, walked onto the field of the Washington Miquetoasts, the capital’s football team, and announced that he wanted to try out for quarterback.  If ever there was an unlikely prospect for quarterback of an NFL franchise, it was Fred Mudgeon.

However, it was a difficult time for the Toasties, as fans called the team. Formerly the Washington Redskins, they had changed their name under political pressure from those who found the name offensive to Indians.  This did not include the Indians, who were uninterested in the matter. The lefties of Washington were going to protect the Native Peoples from being insulted, even though nobody was insulting them and the Indians themselves had other things on their minds. You can’t be too careful about these matters.

Besides, conservatives supported the demand for a new name, arguing that it was humiliating that a former superpower should name its team after Stone Age savages who had never invented so much as a smartphone. Debate raged. Macho names, like “the Shrapnel” or the more-descriptive “Washington Felons,” were rejected as being too candid. “The Supermen” would be hurtful to women and the biceps-challenged. Something uniting was desired, something to bring us all together.

It came down to the “Washington Petals” or “the Milquetoasts,” which latter was chosen as being more non-threatening. Republicans objected to “Milquetoasts,” saying the “milque” was French, and wanted to call the team the “Liberty Toasties,” but it didn’t catch on.

Press attention grew when it was discovered that Fred Mudgeon was descended from Richard Coeur de Mudgeon, a hero of the Third Crusade. Mudgeon’s august ancestor had fought against Salad Al Din, a Moslem Kurd who eventually defeated the Christians. Salad then invaded Southeast Asia, where he was unexpectedly killed and cannibalized by a band of crazed British women pirates led by Mary of Warwick. (Thus “Mary, Mary, quite contrary, eating her Kurds in Hue.”)

The Toasties’ coach, Heftus Packer, took one look at Mudgeon and said, “Giddowdahere. What are you, nuts?”

Mudgeon sued.

His lawyers, from the noted K Street firm of Linger, Loyter, Daudle, and Phumble, demanded that the Toasties produce a list of their requirements for quarterback. They did. It included such things as running speed, reflexes, a good throwing arm, accuracy in passing, and physical toughness. Mudgeon, said Heftus Packer, had none of these.

Actually what Packer said was, “I don’t need some fossilized half-cripple with them thick glasses so he looks like a damn bug.”  For this he was charged with a hate crime.

Mudgeon’s  lawyer, Priscilla Wang-Waver,  said, “Mr. Mudgeon is not unable or disabled. He is just differently abled. To imply that he is of less worth as a person because of purely physical qualities is shockingly insensitive.” She filed a complaint of ageism, physicalism, and blindism under the Protection of the Incapable legislation, often called the Potty Act. This had passed Congress the year before to prevent massive firings of federal employees.

Ms. Wang-Waver asserted that the Act required the Toasties to make the game more “accessible and friendly” to the differently abled. “Justice doesn’t allow discrimination against people simply because they cannot play football. How many can? On this team there are no gay, women, lesbian, bifurcated, or transaxle players. This is no accident.”

A start toward justice, she said, would be to limit players to a walk and to allow canes on the field. She further thought that physical contact should be disallowed. The game should be more empathic and human instead of competitive, which “leaves some players with low self-esteem.”

From his holding cell, Coach Heftus Packer said, “Caring? Caring? I’ve got a metal detector so these guys don’t take crow bars onto the field. They don’t know from caring.”

The case began to attract national attention. In California, US Senator Barbara Steinboxer-Mowgli opined, “My staff has done some research, and they inform me that football involves violence. This is not a message that we should be sending to our children. We should make football into a cooperative game led by a caring adult. I will introduce legislation to do this.”

Panic ensued in the world of sports. The National Hockey League applied en bloc for Canadian citizenship.  The World Wrestling Association asked preemptively for a waiver, saying that pro wrestling was essentially a dance routine.

Worse was to come. Ms. Steinboxer-Mowgli issued a press release, stating “I have just attended a baseball game, and was appalled. I witnessed a huge—ugh!—man violently hitting a ball with a stick. Yes, you may say, it’s just a ball. But in his mind it is a woman. After he hits it, another player picks it up and throws it as hard as he can at the first-base person, who has to protect himself or herself with a sort of glove-thingy. It is worse than dodge ball. And children watch this, and imitate it.”

The legal wrangling went on for several years. It finally reached the Supreme Court as Mudgeon vs Toasties. The Court took jurisdiction under the Commerce Clause, since Mudgeon had been born in West Virginia and and sometimes telephoned his mother in Wheeling, thus engaging in interstate commerce. Two of the justices recused themselves on the grounds that they had Alzheimer’s and couldn’t remember what the case was about. Cynics weren’t sure why it mattered.

In any event, the remaining seven justices ruled that under the Fourteenth Amendment, Mudgeon’s constitutional right to play football had been violated.

The Toasties’ attorney said he couldn’t see what the Amendment had to do with the case. Speaking for the majority, which was all of them, recently-appointed Justice Amantha Molotov-Ribbentrop said, “The Fourteenth Amendment in its majestic sway folds everything into a broad ambit.”

In its concision and clarity, this was held by MSNBC to be “a very model of what the Constitution is for.” The Toasties were ordered to instate Mudgeon as quarterback. All in the legal profession agreed that, post Toasties, nothing would be the same. They were right. The American system had again functioned.

Finally Mudgeon got his chance. He was helped onto the field to face the Denver Mares (they too had been ordered to change their name from the unnecessarily masculinist, violent-sounding Broncos.) On his first play Mudgeon handed off to a walking back who ambled down the field behind the inoffensive linepersons, avoiding discourteous contact.  Since the walking back was female, as prescribed gender equity, men could not tackle her thanks to the Violence Against Women Act.

On the  Mares’ three-yard line, Mudgeon threw a Hail Mary (or Joseph) pass, which was accounted a touchdown as it wasn’t fair to penalize a largely blind quarterback for his physical infirmities. Than….

I need a drink.

Original HERE.

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Light Speed Too Slow

It was fun to watch the Eagles on MNF (especially the first half).  This is a rebuilding year but the defense played pretty well and the offense moved at a breakneck speed.  They had 50+ plays in the first half.

And apparently this was too slow for Chip Kelly, he wants them to go right to ludicrous speed.

ludicrous speed go

IF Vick can keep himself healthy (fyi: I failed to type that without chuckling), watch for the Eagles to go “plaid.”

gone to plaid

Be careful not to over-shoot by a week and a half

Chip Kelly wants faster pace

Updated: September 10, 2013, 5:10 PM ET

By Phil Sheridan | ESPN.com

Eagles Top Redskins In Kelly’s Debut
SC Highlight Of The Night: Michael Vick threw for two TDs and ran for another to help the Eagles beat the Redskins in Chip Kelly’s first game as Eagles coach.Tags: Eagles, Redskins, Michael Vick, LeSean McCoy, Robert Griffin III

Eagles Top Redskins In Kelly’s Debut

PHILADELPHIA — Everybody seemed to have an opinion about Chip Kelly’s fast-break offense after its NFL unveiling on “Monday Night Football.”

Kelly was no exception.

“I felt like it was slow,” the first-year Philadelphia Eagles coach said Tuesday. “I’m not joking. We need to do a better job.

Kelly“I felt like it was slow. I’m not joking. We need to do a better job. We left the ball on the ground too much. We didn’t get the ball to the officials. We could have sped things up from a process in between plays. That’s something we need to work on.”

– Chip Kelly on Eagles’ offense in season opener

“We left the ball on the ground too much. We didn’t get the ball to the officials. We could have sped things up from a process in between plays. That’s something we need to work on.”

The Eagles ran 53 plays in a frenetic first half against the Washington Redskins‘ stunned defense, amassing 322 total yards. Philadelphia had as many first downs (21) as Washington had offensive plays and entered halftime with a 26-7 lead. The Redskins’ only first-half score came on a 75-yard fumble return.

The Eagles ran a play every 22.2 seconds — and Kelly thought it was slow?

As it turned out, Eagles center Jason Kelce, who along with the quarterback has the most responsibility for dictating tempo, felt the same way.

“I know we can go faster,” Kelce said. “I think we went at a really good speed. There were times when we really put the foot on the pedal and were flying around out there, and there were times we eased it back a little bit. We definitely have plays we can still go faster with.”

Kelce also hinted at the second issue raised by the game — what happened to that go-go offense in the second half?

Well That Was Fast

Chip Kelly’s vaunted offense was soaring in the first half, and the Eagles were on pace to break the NFL record for plays and first downs in a game. However, Philadelphia slowed down late.

First Half Second Half
Plays 53 24
1st downs 21 5
Yards 322 121
Points 26 7
TOP 20:20 12:19

  — ESPN Stats & Information

The Eagles ran 24 plays after intermission, less than half their first-half total. Washington ran 49 plays in the second half, outgained the Eagles 307-121 and came close to catching them on the scoreboard.

So what happened?

• Did Washington defensive coordinator Jim Haslett figure out how to slow the Eagles?

• Did fatigue slow the Eagles?

• Is it just not possible to dominate a team in the NFL the way Kelly was accustomed to doing at Oregon?

Redskins linebacker Brian Orakpo made the argument for Haslett’s halftime adjustments.

“Just the way our front line was aligned,” Orakpo said. “We changed that — guys playing more in the box. What they try to do, they try to spread you out and kind of leave the box wide open. So we just made a few adjustments to get more guys in the box so we could play the run a little better.”

Kelly dismissed the idea that the Eagles wore down any more than usual.

ESPN NFL analyst Trent Dilfer gives his thoughts on Robert Griffin III’s struggles against the Eagles on Monday night, the offensive revolution in Philadelphia and the dynamic attack of Colin Kaepernick and the 49ers.

“When you play that many snaps, you have to make sure you don’t run your own team into the ground,” Kelly said. “You always sense fatigue in the fourth quarter, no matter what team you’re on or what you did. The big thing is not to be as fatigued as the team you’re playing against.”

Kelly said the first-half/second-half split had more to do with his management of the game. After doing everything at “90 miles an hour,” Kelly said, his team had to adjust to “driving on city streets again.”

“It’s not as much taking your foot off the gas from a standpoint of the tempo that you play,” Kelly said. “It’s maybe play selection and some of those other things. You’re conscious of working the clock.

“It’s a fine line. As I get a better feel for our guys and they continue to get a better feel for us, it’s something you continually work on.”

Phil Sheridan

ESPN Philadelphia Eagles reporter

Original HERE.
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Does Everything There Lose Money?

The NFL is an entertainment juggernaut.  Amongst the clueless masses it basically prints money like the Fed.  There are 32 teams in the NFL, and all but 1 team turned a profit last year.

I’ll give you one guess which shit-stain of a city’s team is the one that failed to make money.  You shouldn’t be surprised…

detroit 2

 

Only One NFL Team Lost Money In 2012

Wednesday, August 14, 2013 8:54 pm
Written by: ThePostGame Staff

 A new Forbes report indicates just how profitable the NFL has become. According to the study the average NFL team is worth $1.17 billion, and the most valuable team, the Dallas Cowboys, are worth an astounding $2.3 billion.

In that respect, it may be surprising to hear that not every NFL franchise operated at a surplus in 2012. In fact one team lost money.

Forbes reported that the Detroit Lions, who were valued at $900 million and took in $248 million in revenue last year, posted a loss of $3.5 million last year.

This isn’t the first time the Lions have lost money, or happened to be the only NFL franchise to do so. Under Forbes’ formula, the Lions have lost money each of the last four seasons.

The Lions don’t release financial information, so it’s impossible to know exactly why the team has operated at a loss, but as Kevin Seifert of ESPN points out there are several possible explanations. For one, the team is still burdened by its share of the construction cost of Ford Field (upwards of $350 million).

The Lions, who have big-name players like Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh, also had the highest player payroll in the NFL last year ($118 million).

It’s interesting to note that even though the Lions lost $3.5 million, they were still better off than the NHL champion Chicago Blackhawks. The Blackhawks, one of the NHL’s Original Six teams and its wire-to-wire best squad in the 2013 season, were an estimated $10 million to $20 million in the red last year.

Below is the complete list of NFL franchise values and, in parenthesis, each team’s operating income from 2012:

1. Dallas Cowboys: $2.3 billion ($250.7 million)

2. New England Patriots: $1.8 billion ($139.2 million)

3. Washington Redskins: $1.7 billion ($104.3 million)

4. New York Giants: $1.55 billion ($64.4 million)

5. Houston Texans: $1.45 billion ($81.5 million)

6. New York Jets: $1.38 billion ($52.8 million)

7. Philadelphia Eagles: $1.314 billion ($47.8 million)

8. Chicago Bears: $1.252 billion ($63.2 million)

9. Baltimore Ravens: $1.227 billion ($48.3 million)

10. San Francisco 49ers: $1.224 billion ($10.2 million)

11. Indianapolis Colts: $1.2 billion ($65 million)

12. Green Bay Packers: $1.183 billion ($54.3 million)

13. Denver Broncos: $1.161 billion ($31.7 million)

14. Pittsburgh Steelers: $1.118 billion ($28.3 million)

15. Seattle Seahawks: $1.081 billion ($28.2 million)

16. Miami Dolphins: $1.074 billion ($24.8 million)

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: $1.067 billion ($2.2 million)

18. Carolina Panthers: $1.057 billion ($28.9 million)

19. Tennessee Titans: $1.055 billion ($40 million)

20. Kansas City Chiefs: $1.009 billion ($15 million)

21. Minnesota Vikings: $1.007 billion ($28 million)

22. Cleveland Browns: $1.005 billion ($17.1 million)

23. New Orleans Saints: $1.004 billion ($22.2 million)

24. Arizona Cardinals: $961 million ($9.7 million)

25. San Diego Chargers: $949 million ($30.4 million)

26. Atlanta Falcons: $933 million ($18.5 million)

27. Cincinnati Bengals: $924 million ($37.3 million)

28. Detroit Lions: $900 million (-$3.5 million)

29. St. Louis Rams: $875 million ($21.1 million)

30. Buffalo Bills: $870 million ($12.6 million)

31. Jacksonville Jaguars: $840 million ($15.5 million)

32. Oakland Raiders: $825 million ($19.1 million)

Original HERE.

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What Might Happen?

What if an American football coach tried to coach football (i.e. soccer).

football coach

Hilarity would ensue.

Both ManU and Liverpool are similar to the Dallas Cowboys but I would say Liverpool is more like the NE Patriots – bazinga!

My favorite line is:

How many countries are in this country???

h/t to Less Grossman for sending me this.

 

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Brazil Preparing For WC

Here’s some WTF news for the day.  Talk about zero tolerance for dissent against a referee.  The ref red cards the player, they get into a fist fight which leads to the ref stabbing the player.  Then the crowd takes over and it gets even more ludicrous.

Looks like the Brazilians are “preparing” for the World Cup next year.

brazil 14

Brazil football referee beheaded after stabbing player to death

Published time: July 07, 2013 09:52                                                                            
Otavio Jordao da Silva (Image from facebook.com)Otavio Jordao da Silva (Image from facebook.com)

Outraged spectators in northern Brazil stoned football referee Otavio da Silva to death and hacked up his body, after he stabbed a player, who died on his way to hospital.

Police say the incident happened when the referee red-carded  30-year-old player Josenir Abreu from a game. The two quarrelled  and got into a fist fight, then Silva stabbed Abreu.

According to the Maranhao State Public Safety Department fans got  to the field and decapitated the referee, then dismembered his  body.

Local news reports say the angry mob stuck his head on a stake in  the middle of the field.

Police have arrested a 27-year-old man in the ongoing  investigation.

“We will identify and hold accountable all those involved in  this incident. One crime will never justify another. Actions like  this do not correspond with state law,” police spokesman  Valter Costa told reporters.

The police are reportedly looking for two more suspects.

The incident took place with a backdrop of Brazil facing mounting  pressure to show it is a safe place before 12 cities host the  2014 World Cup and the Rio de Janeiro Olympics in 2016.

In June, Brazil was swept by the protests partly against the  spending in preparation for the World Cup, as well as against the  level of corruption.

Original story HERE.

 

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Ghost Rider

real ghost rider

I’ve seen this video a few dozen times but I was surprised when a co-worker had never heard of it.  Figured it was worth posting.

ghost rider

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GOAL!!!

From Yahoo News:

While retiring defender Paulo Ferreira spoke to the Stamford Bridge crowd after Chelsea‘s final match of the season, backup goalkeeper Ross Turnbull‘s two-year-old son Josh became one of the highlights of the year. Wearing his full kit, Josh dribbled a ball towards goal all by himself. He stumbled on top of the ball at one point, but continued on as the crowd urged him to shoot. When the ball finally passed the goal line, a cheer erupted and after a brief hesitation, Josh turned back toward the players and their families in the center of the pitch and raised his arms in triumph.

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“Audit This”

Evan Mathis of the Philadelphia Eagles has officially expressed his opinion on the scandal involving the IRS targeting conservative groups.

audit this

Personally I wouldn’t piss on the IRS even if they were on fire but kudos to Mr. Mathis for the gesture and wish him luck in his future “random” IRS audit.

 

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