I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says “Yes”, you know he is a crook.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Military justice is to justice as military music is to music.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.